By Mandy Cloninger, CFRE
In a recent training that I led on cultivating donor diversity, I candidly shared the good, the bad and the ugly of building relationships with diverse constituencies.
I shared one example from many years back when I had a partner reach out because they “wanted to do something for Black History month.” After some handwringing on my part, I respectfully shared that their annual gift and volunteerism did something every day for our black neighbors. I shared that their support was leveraged in a historically marginalized Black community to address basic needs and workforce development. The partner wasn’t satisfied because they wanted something that they could market and put on social media. I politely declined another “opportunity” and helped them to package something that highlighted their long-term partnership.
Part of our work as nonprofit leaders is to teach, to challenge stereotypes, dispel the myths, and model excellence in our strategic partnerships as well as to protect the lived experience and stories of the neighbors we serve.
And yet, I’ve gotten it so, so wrong. I’ve mispronounced culturally different names when I know that “the sweetest sound to anyone is the sound of his or her own name.” (Dale Carnegie) I’ve participated in what I might now call poverty tourism rather than building relationships. I’ve utilized the stories of our neighbors in hardship to propel fundraising without compensation to those neighbors.
I’ve also called people out rather than called them in. I’ve alienated colleagues who didn’t buy into white supremacy culture or theory. I’ve been exasperated when I would hear someone say DEI efforts do nothing to shape culture. I’ve rolled my eyes when I’ve heard, justice doesn’t matter, we are here to serve. I’ve apologized more times than I can count for being too this or too that when it came to my opinions and leadership.
My reflection is pictured in the Mirror Casket, which is on display at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History & Culture. The Mirror Casket sculpture was created by a collective of local St. Louis-based artists in 2014 and used as performance arts during the Black Lives Matter protests. The broken glass symbolizes the fractured state of our social condition and forces the viewer to gaze upon themselves within the confines of the casket and the prism of racism.
One day, after leading a group of volunteers, I had a young white man ask me why there were so many black men being served that day. I asked him point blank, “Have you ever considered how systemic racism impacts our community?”
He said, “I’ve never even been east of I-275 till today.”
I shared that there are at least a dozen policies that have led to a racial wealth gap that persists today. I encouraged him to do some reading and explore some training I had found valuable from Bread for the World and the Racial Equity Institute. I also shook my head and thought, I hope at least a seed of something was planted in that young man’s brain today.
“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”
Maya Angelou
As Black History month comes to a close this February, I challenge us all to thoughtfully examine when we’ve gotten it wrong. Let’s also take time to consider when you’ve been forgiven, experienced grace and strived to do better the next time around.
Additional Resources:
Racial Wealth Gap Learning Simulation, Bread for the World
